33 Weeks

Here is the most flattering picture I could take at 33 weeks. Steve miraculously managed to not catch my double chin or my swollen ankles in this shot.

After a totally exhausting weekend in which I barely got out of bed, today I really began to think about when I should take my maternity leave. Originally I had planned to work up right until labor, but now I'm second guessing myself. I go to the doctor tomorrow and I think I'm going to get her input on this!

Another blog from the father-to-be

Aside:

This blog has absolutely nothing to do with pregnancy or the like. However, Steve wrote this blog on his myspace profile last year and was so proud of it that he wanted me to re-post it this year on my new blogspot blog.

I guess it kind-of ties into "us" in that this blog has to do with our time at Butler together and of the heartbreaking NCAA tourney Butler-Florida game that we were both in attendance at in 2000. So, in honor of our Bulldogs dancing again this year, here is Steve's blog in all it's glory (note this was written after they advanced to the sweet 16 last year)...

The revenge game: Why I'm excited that Butler will be playing Florida

And here we are. My Butler Bulldogs are in the sweet sixteen for the second time in five years. I couldn't be prouder. I really thought at the beginning of this season that it would be tough this year, losing Brandon Polk and Avery Sheets. Then I worried that winning the Preseason NIT would end up being the highlight. No, this team surpassed even my highest expectations for this season. Now, we get the game I've been waiting seven years to get. Time for revenge!

First, a little background: in 2000, I was a junior at Butler and a proud member of the basketball band. Me, Carrie, and about a half-dozen other people who are now on my MySpace friends list were selected as members of the condensed basketball band that would travel to Winston-Salem, North Carolina to cheer on Butler as they took on the fifth seeded Florida Gators. As soon as the brackets were announced, I was excited. Florida had come into that season with high expectations, but had never really matched them. They seemed like an over-hyped BCS school (except there was no BCS at the time) that would be ripe for an upset. Plus, Butler was on a roll. After a sluggish start to the season, Butler cruised down the stretch and eventually won the conference tournament. I was confident. We were all confident and hopeful. This was the year Butler would finally break through.

I had a front row seat for the game, underneath the north goal. If the game is ever on ESPN Classic (as it sometimes is) I'm the one in the white Butler hat. Sitting next to me was my buddy Utah (now Brodie). Carrie was a few spots to my right, in one of those fishermen's hats that were popular at the time. You can see her in the ESPN Classic footage too. I remember that I bought a water bottle from the concession stand at the arena, but representatives from the NCAA told us to hide it because they didn't want the TV cameras to pick up the label on the bottle (that particular water company wasn't a sponsor of the tournament). That's how close we were to the action.

From early on in the game, I knew Butler might be in trouble. I remember seeing Udonis Haslem, the Florida power forward (now with the Miami Heat). Dude was legit 6'9" 260 at least. Butler's power forward was Mike Marshall, 6'4" of pure muscle and heart. If competitive fire alone were enough to make it in the NBA, Marshall would have been an All-Star. Butler's center was Scott Robisch, lanky and awkward but nonetheless effective. He was a transfer from Oklahoma State who had gained eligibility midway through the season. His arrival was a major reason for Butler's turnaround. But neither Robisch nor Marshall was going to be able to stop Haslem in the paint. Dude was a monster compared to everyone else on the floor. What's more, Florida also had Mike Miller, Wooden Award candidate and future NBA lottery pick. So early on, I had a bad feeling.

But Butler keep hanging around. Then we took the lead…and we kept the lead…and the half kept winding down…and we still had the lead. Excitement was building. It started to look like Butler was about to pull the upset. I remember looking up at the game clock during the second half and seeing just over 5 minutes remaining. I had watched the tournament since I was a kid, I knew how CBS' coverage worked. And as I looked at the clock, saw the time, and saw the score, I knew that every CBS affiliate in the country was tuned to this game right now. No other game was close. All eyes were on the 12th seeded Butler Bulldogs, from a school of just over 3,000 in central Indiana, giving the University of Florida all they could handle.

The Bulldogs couldn't hold that lead though, and the game went into overtime. I remember everyone around me being beyond tense. Excited. Ready to explode. By this point, there was absolutely zero doubt in my mind that Butler would prevail. The halftime wore on and as time wore down, Butler had a one point lead as Lavall Jordan approached the three point line. This would be to ice it. He missed the first. He missed the second. Florida grabs the rebound and gets the ball into the hands of Mike Miller…

My seat was on the opposite side of the court from Florida's goal. I had a bad angle, so I never actually saw the shot go in. But I knew it did. I saw Miller jumping up and down. I saw the Florida bench clearing and mobbing him at mid court. I just stood there; stunned. We lost. It seemed utterly impossible only a few moments before, but we lost. I was deflated. The energy had been completely sucked out of my body by one simple basket. In the words of ESPN.com's Bill Simmons, it was a level 2 stomach punch game. In my entire life as a sports fan (which means basically as long as I can remember), no loss has ever hurt more.

The band played "Back to Butler" after the game, just as we did after every game, win or lose. But this time, the song had a different feel to it. Nobody wanted to go back to Butler. We wanted to keep on dancing. On the bus back to the hotel, the band's bass player went down the isle giving a hug to everyone. I know that there was a 12 hour bus ride back to Indianapolis at some point after the game, but honestly I don't remember any of it. The rest of the trip was just a blur. Florida eventually advanced to the National Championship game, where they lost to Michigan State. Everyone at Butler was happy when Florida finally went down. All I could think was, "what if?"

Fast forward seven years later. I now work at Ball State, but remain devoted to my Dawgs. People ask me all the time "who do you root for when Butler plays Ball State?" I say "I spent four years having floor seats and screaming my head off for Butler. Some people might be able turn off that kind of passion like a light switch; but I'm not one of them." Most of the principal players in that game have moved on. Butler coach Barry Collier went to take a job at the University of Nebraska after that game, but later returned as Butler's Athletic Director. Two Butler players from that team (Jordan, along with Joel Cornette) are now assistant coaches at Butler. Mike Miller and Udonis Haslem are enjoying productive NBA careers. Florida coach Billy Donovan now has a National Championship. Butler has won their first round game in each of their last three tournament appearances. Most people seem to have forgotten that game.
But I haven't forgotten. I'll never forget that game. And even though much has changed since 2000, I would still love a shot at revenge. That's why I want Florida so bad.

P.S. Here's a link to a recap of that 2000 Butler-Florida game.

Negligence

Okay, so I'm guilty. Really guilty. Of not blogging for well over 2 weeks.

In all honesty, I have been so tired that as soon as I get home, I am looking to eat and and to put a pillow beneath my head. I also have trouble staying awake at work. Today, for example, I feel like Brett is sucking the life out of of me... any bit of energy that I would normally have is being used by him. Which, I guess, if he needs it, is fine. He's actually been squirming around quite a bit today, so I know HE'S doing great. It's funny how I can just stare down at my belly and see the whole thing just shift from side to side. In one sense it's very strange, but in another sense it's really cool.

I've also been sick. Luckily I was able to avoid getting sick most of the winter. In my business I am around sick people all day, and somehow by the grace of God have avoided getting sick. But Steve got sick on the 29th, and well, you know the rest. That weekend brought the last bit of energy I've had in awhile. We went that Friday night to Purdue to see Ben Folds (excellent, wonderful show by the way... and I will be there next time he comes to town) and then to Lexington the next morning to visit Steve's brother. And then, whammo, the following Tuesday I felt like a Mack truck hit me. So, I've also been getting over this cold since then. I'm hoping to re-coup this weekend.

But, that kind of explains where I've been... sleeping and eating. I feel like Garfield. Work is getting harder for me too. It's so hard to stay focused and alert while trying to lead an office. I don't recommend being the boss and being pregnant. Not an easy task.

Well, that's all from my pregnant corner of the world today. Now, back to trying to stay alert and focused. I'll try to get an updated picture of me on here one day. I think that Brett must be growing a pound a day... I don't see how my belly can get any bigger!

4-20

No, I'm not contemplating smoking some illegal substance. I'm making a prediction.

See, stoners near and far are looking forward to this "national holiday" on April 20th for one reason.

I'm predicting it officially as Brett's birthday. Not that I desire for my child to get into illegal drugs. But, because a few things about it make sense.

1. I am measuring 2 weeks ahead... this means that on April 20th I am going to be exactly 38 weeks pregnant (hence 40 weeks if you do the math).

2. A crazy phenomenon happens on April 20th that seems to cause women to go into labor every month. Yes, it is a full moon.

So, I'm no Einstein, and Brett may very well have other plans.... but I want it to be known that I have made my prediction and I'm sticking to it!

Okay, this is all beginning to make sense

So, I had my last doctor's appointment Tuesday morning. And, yes, this was the doctor's appointment where I had to take the dreaded glucose test (and for all who don't know what that means - they test you for gestational diabetes).

Now, I know I have a big baby. My mom even looked at me on Sunday and marvelled at how big the baby has to be right now. She even prompted me to make sure that my due date was actually right, according to my doctor.

My fears? Gestational diabetes causes large babies. I have never personally had diabetes, but it does run in my family so I was dreading the results.

Well, I went in Tuesday morning and drank the orange-fanta like substance that they required of me... and then waited an hour for them to draw blood. In between, I met with my doctor. She measured my belly and told me that I was measuring 2 weeks ahead! So, instead of measuring 29 weeks, I was measuring 31. And, in fact, they told me that anytime after April 5th, if I went into labor they wouldn't try to stop it... they would go ahead and deliver the baby. Wow, crazy huh? We have mentally prepared ourselves for May 5th, but I am sooo glad we have the nursery together now. Brett may make his appearance much sooner than we all thought!

Well, they did draw my blood after my appointment and I was nervously awaiting the test results all day yesterday. When they didn't call, I finally called them and they told me that I was fine. Whew! What a relief! I was honestly freaked out, but all is well.

So, it's just as my mom said. I just have a REALLY BIG baby. He is definitely taking after Steve's side already. If Brett grows up to be as tall as his daddy, he'll be 6'4" when he's fully grown. I'm already dreading labor....

Pregnancy. Weight Gain. Sucks./ 28 Week Picture

So, I decided to take some pregnant pictures before I changed into my pj's tonight. Here is my 28 week belly. I think that the fact that the shirt is black minimizes the size, but it's still pretty impressive.

It's actually gotten to the point where people are asking me how soon I am due and expecting me to say "next week". When I tell them it's May 5th, they kind of give me an odd look and ask if I'm SURE that I don't have 2 cooking in there.

I have gained much more than I ever would have liked already. I won't say the number on the scale, but I decided to step on it today to prepare myself for my doctor's visit next week, and let me just say that the number actually horrified me. And, I still have 2 1/2 months to go!

And, one year ago today, we were on a cruise in the middle of the caribbean. I was proud of my size and weight at that time. See the pic below. It's almost hard to believe it's me.

Man, will I ever have to work my butt off come May!

My $$$$$$ Bundle Of Joy

Baby Furniture/Accessories/Etc...

Price: $2,000 +


Ultrasounds/Dr. Visits/Tests/Baby Delivery:

Price: $10,000 +

Taking a 12 week UNPAID maternity leave:

Price: Very Costly

Your Own Baby:

Price: PRICELESS??????

I hope you enjoyed my little illustration (and by the way, items featured are on my BRU registry :)). But seriously, this is a little overwhelming!

We did plan to get pregnant. This was no suprise. And, we knew that we'd have upcoming expenses, but man oh man, what we didn't know!

First of all, our insurance covers like 10% of our $450 ultrasounds (of which we've already had 2, and will have a third). Also, it barely covers blood work (I don't even want to get into that). So, we've had those preliminary expenses. And, we are pre-paying for the delivery, which doesn't even include drugs or hospital stay or anything else that we will incur until AFTER we are at home with baby. And, here's the kicker. We mulled over which insurance plan would be better for me to be on, mine or his, based on the fact that we were trying to get pregnant. This was the BETTER plan of the two. Seriously!

We've also been trying to buy nursery/ baby items here and there as we can to stretch our dollar further and not be overwhelmed all at once. We've bought the basics, but registered for the rest. This has been okay so far.

But the biggest problem is going to be maternity leave. Every other country in the civilized world seems to support women and maternity leave. The US, not so much. I am lucky to be allowed to take 12 weeks without being fired. And this is all, of course, unpaid leave. And, I'm not talking specifically about my company's FMLA plan. This is a pretty universal practice.

So, anyway, we've been trying to put $$ away for the last 6 months so I can stay home this summer. But with all of the doctor bills, we have not been able to put nearly as much away as we had originally hoped to do. This is where the tax man was supposed to come in and help us. Last year we brought home a pretty nice chunk of change and were expecting about the same this year. We had no reason not to think so. Well, Steve started our taxes yesterday, and it's not so pretty. Even though I did NOT fill out a new Federal form with my company (aka - everything should stay the same from last year), they decided to go ahead and take less taxes out anyway. Yeah, ouch. We OWE the government this year. To say I'm upset is putting it lightly.

So, short of selling blood or finding some valuable collector's item worth thousands, we are crossing our fingers that we can make this work. Things always work out...or so I've heard.

Incredible Shrinking Rings, & I Think I Might Be Developing A Maternal Instinct

Yep, it finally happened. My fingers have finally swollen to the size of small sausages, and my wedding bands no longer fit. Therefore I must wear them around a chain on my neck. See illustration below...

This is all at once unsettling to me. You see, I have been wearing at least an engagment ring on my finger since February of 2001. So, for 7 years there is no questioning the fact that I am "taken". Removing rings from my fingers leaves me with a slight sense of vulnerability. Not that I am afraid of being hit on by strange men (although, it would seriously make me laugh if I was to be hit on as a very obviously "showing" pregnant woman). Rather, it makes me feel like I must explain myself to everyone. I know there are plenty of fabulous single mothers out there who don't "need a man" to raise their child, but I guess I grew up in an uber-conservative household where it was looked upon as shameful for a non-married woman to be pregnant. Again, I don't personally subscribe to this theory, but it's something that's been instilled in me and I in a sense feel guilty without my rings on ESPECIALLY while toting this massive belly.

Side note: I tried to take a belly picture to post here, however, I am having a rather lazy Saturday and am going sans makeup. From the pics on my computer I have just now learned that a pregnant woman without makeup is a scary scary thing. I will try to get one up soon, though since it's been about a month since I last posted one.

Now, on to the second part of my post. It has finally hit me.... I think I am developing a maternal instinct. And, the way it happened wasn't all that pleasant.

I usually have an issue with discussing my workplace environment in my blogs, and I can count on one hand the people who will scold me for even mentioning it (although I will NOT mention the company who I work for, and I highly doubt anyone who works for them even reads my blog, and even so, they all know about this incident). But, it's an integral part of this story.

So, anyway, I was at work last Thursday. (I am the property manager of an apartment complex, by the way.) A really irate resident calls up over a small balance they have ($9.00) and has a heated discussion with myself and the bookkeeper. We try to explain as calmly as we can that it is his responsiblity to pay it. Now, background on this resident. We have good reason to believe that he was beating his girlfriend, and maintenance even witnessed him kick a huge dent in his dishwasher when he wasn't happy with the job they had done. Yeah, massive anger managment problems.

So, we got off the phone with him, knowing that this was unresolved. 5 minutes later he comes irately charging to the office. Normally, I wouldn't be afraid of residents (and yes, I have had a girl right in my face about to punch me once last fall), but I suddenly panicked. I thought about what might happen if he physically harmed me. He would not only be harming ME, he would be harming and possibly even killing my baby. I choked and closed my door and told people to let him know I was on a conference call. Looking back, I feel absolutely horrible about this. I mean, what if he had harmed one of my employees because I wouldn't talk to him? But I couldn't. I mean I just COULDN'T, you know? At this point I'm afraid of just falling, let alone being physically abused. Luckily he left, but I was shaken. I had trouble even sleeping that night.

Yeah, I am beginning to be MORE than ready for maternity leave.

27 Down - 13 to Go

Welcome to the third trimester of my pregnancy.

But, before I delve into the latest updates, I have to share that I am currently watching The Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. Has anyone else seen this? It's frickin' hilarious. What it boils down to is watching dogs play on a makeshift "football field" with a lame comentator that breaks in from time to time. Otherwise it's puppies wrestling and playing with toys to upbeat music in the background. Kind of like walking into a pet store. Except this is on for THREE HOURS. Seriously. It's the most hilariously cute thing I've ever seen. And, I find it MUCH more entertaining than the stupid football game that will be on my television in just about an hour. (And I've never seen my dogs more mesmorized by the television. Seriously!)

Okay, back to pregnancy. So, my body never ceases to amaze me. I'm thrown new curve balls every day. The biggest noticable change is that my belly, which was up until last week a little bit soft, is now completely hard. This makes for some serious challenges in my movement. The best way I described it to Steve is this.... have you ever seen people don those ridiculous sumo wrestling costumes that are inflatable and then watch them try manuever? Yeah, it's like that. I do everything in my power not to have to reach down to the floor or sit on the floor because it's such a chore just to get back up! And, I have started to sleep with a fully body pillow just to get more comfortable in bed, and I swear that there is no more room left for Steve. I pity my poor husband.

But beyond that, again within the last week, my fingers have started tingling like they are going numb all the time. It freaked me out a little bit at first, but then I read I just have carpel tunnel syndrome, and it's common in pregnancy. Lovely. Wonderful. And, I'm starting to get to the point where I have days where my wedding rings are too tight. Soon I'll have to stop wearing them and I'm not looking forward to any unapproving looks that I might get from random people.

And, the fatigue has once again returned (sigh). I was doing so well for a few weeks, but now I'm in bed by like 8:30-9:00 every single night. The good news is that I sleep like the dead. The bad news is that Brett sometimes decides to sit on my bladder which wakes me up almost every night now. And, half the time, once I'm up, I'm UP. I guess I'd better just get used to it... before you know it I'll be feeding a crying baby at 3:00 a.m. every night.

The only really cool thing that I've actually enjoyed has been the fact that Brett is getting big enough that his kicks are pretty palpable. Steve is able to feel him move now, and you can actually on occassion see my belly shake when he's really active. He's also big enough now (they estimate between 2 1/2- 3 lbs) that I am starting to be able to tell where he is in the womb at any given time. Steve likes to talk to him now and he tries to play (unsuccessfully) games with him, where he pokes my belly and tries to get Brett to poke back. I just think that Brett is smart and doesn't feel like playing.

Soon, I'll post another picture. I'm a little afraid to see what the camera thinks of me these days. While cleaning out my closet today I found a bunch of our candid wedding photos and was marvelling about how skinny I looked in them. I'll have to keep them around for inspiration when I'm trying to lose the baby weight!

Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House

So, I was looking back at some of my old blogs that I had posted on myspace and this one made me laugh. I originally wrote this on August 3rd, and I guess I got pregnant around 10 days later - give or take.

It's funny to think about how far we've come in just 6 months time. Now we've got a nursery, we've registered for stuff, we're reading everything we can about having a baby, and my belly is getting so big that it's a challenge to even cross my legs anymore.

Anyway, in case you haven't already read it on myspace, enjoy this old blog.....

No, I am not pregnant. Well, not yet, anyway (and frankly, I have to tell you that I am a bit surprised that I'm not… considering that I've been deathly afraid of pregnancy most of my life, I'd always just assumed it was just as easy as going off the pill). But enough of the TMI...

Recently we've reached a crossroads. One between our greedy, ambitious twentys and our "adult" thirtys. We've kind of realized that we don't HAVE to go out all the time, and staying in and watching a movie can be the best form of an evening. Basically, we are at a point where we are ready to settle down and start our own family.

This is a big step for me. I was never a "kid person". In fact, I was never a huge fan of babysitting. I would do it because I was a responsible and trusted person and it was a good way to make some extra money, but I never liked to play with kids. I'd prefer to park them in front of a movie, and prayed they'd be content. That is until recently. I'm not exactly sure when or how I changed my mindset, but I've realized that having kids does not exactly constitute the "ending of your life" as I had previously been lead to believe.

So now I am faced with the reality that hopefully (God-willing) children are in our future. This is all at once exciting and SCARY! You see, Steve and I have carved out the perfect life for two. We both have two door cars (and mine is a VW Bug, a very small car), and we have a house with a loft and two bedrooms (one that doubles as our home office no less). So, where would baby go? Yeah, exactly.

Our friends came and visited with their new baby a couple of months ago and it was a huge wakeup call for me. The amount of "stuff" that comes with baby is overwhelming. They pretty much brought a whole bedroom set for their little one in their car. I mean, I go to Babies R Us occasionally to shop for shower gifts and am constantly educated by all of the items that you need for a baby. Things I'd never heard of. Things I'd never even thought of. Things I'd never even IMAGINE existed.

So, now I'm teetering between the excitement of what my future may hold, and the sheer terror of it all. Is it worth it? I see my friends with their new babies and can see the happiness and contentment that has been brought to their lives and realize that they know something I don't know. I think, and hope I'm ready for this. But, it really is all a bit overwhelming.

If and when I have news, I'm sure that many many more blogs like this shall follow .