This is all at once unsettling to me. You see, I have been wearing at least an engagment ring on my finger since February of 2001. So, for 7 years there is no questioning the fact that I am "taken". Removing rings from my fingers leaves me with a slight sense of vulnerability. Not that I am afraid of being hit on by strange men (although, it would seriously make me laugh if I was to be hit on as a very obviously "showing" pregnant woman). Rather, it makes me feel like I must explain myself to everyone. I know there are plenty of fabulous single mothers out there who don't "need a man" to raise their child, but I guess I grew up in an uber-conservative household where it was looked upon as shameful for a non-married woman to be pregnant. Again, I don't personally subscribe to this theory, but it's something that's been instilled in me and I in a sense feel guilty without my rings on ESPECIALLY while toting this massive belly.
Side note: I tried to take a belly picture to post here, however, I am having a rather lazy Saturday and am going sans makeup. From the pics on my computer I have just now learned that a pregnant woman without makeup is a scary scary thing. I will try to get one up soon, though since it's been about a month since I last posted one.
Now, on to the second part of my post. It has finally hit me.... I think I am developing a maternal instinct. And, the way it happened wasn't all that pleasant.
I usually have an issue with discussing my workplace environment in my blogs, and I can count on one hand the people who will scold me for even mentioning it (although I will NOT mention the company who I work for, and I highly doubt anyone who works for them even reads my blog, and even so, they all know about this incident). But, it's an integral part of this story.
So, anyway, I was at work last Thursday. (I am the property manager of an apartment complex, by the way.) A really irate resident calls up over a small balance they have ($9.00) and has a heated discussion with myself and the bookkeeper. We try to explain as calmly as we can that it is his responsiblity to pay it. Now, background on this resident. We have good reason to believe that he was beating his girlfriend, and maintenance even witnessed him kick a huge dent in his dishwasher when he wasn't happy with the job they had done. Yeah, massive anger managment problems.
So, we got off the phone with him, knowing that this was unresolved. 5 minutes later he comes irately charging to the office. Normally, I wouldn't be afraid of residents (and yes, I have had a girl right in my face about to punch me once last fall), but I suddenly panicked. I thought about what might happen if he physically harmed me. He would not only be harming ME, he would be harming and possibly even killing my baby. I choked and closed my door and told people to let him know I was on a conference call. Looking back, I feel absolutely horrible about this. I mean, what if he had harmed one of my employees because I wouldn't talk to him? But I couldn't. I mean I just COULDN'T, you know? At this point I'm afraid of just falling, let alone being physically abused. Luckily he left, but I was shaken. I had trouble even sleeping that night.
Yeah, I am beginning to be MORE than ready for maternity leave.