So, I was looking back at some of my old blogs that I had posted on myspace and this one made me laugh. I originally wrote this on August 3rd, and I guess I got pregnant around 10 days later - give or take.
It's funny to think about how far we've come in just 6 months time. Now we've got a nursery, we've registered for stuff, we're reading everything we can about having a baby, and my belly is getting so big that it's a challenge to even cross my legs anymore.
Anyway, in case you haven't already read it on myspace, enjoy this old blog.....
No, I am not pregnant. Well, not yet, anyway (and frankly, I have to tell you that I am a bit surprised that I'm not… considering that I've been deathly afraid of pregnancy most of my life, I'd always just assumed it was just as easy as going off the pill). But enough of the TMI...
Recently we've reached a crossroads. One between our greedy, ambitious twentys and our "adult" thirtys. We've kind of realized that we don't HAVE to go out all the time, and staying in and watching a movie can be the best form of an evening. Basically, we are at a point where we are ready to settle down and start our own family.
This is a big step for me. I was never a "kid person". In fact, I was never a huge fan of babysitting. I would do it because I was a responsible and trusted person and it was a good way to make some extra money, but I never liked to play with kids. I'd prefer to park them in front of a movie, and prayed they'd be content. That is until recently. I'm not exactly sure when or how I changed my mindset, but I've realized that having kids does not exactly constitute the "ending of your life" as I had previously been lead to believe.
So now I am faced with the reality that hopefully (God-willing) children are in our future. This is all at once exciting and SCARY! You see, Steve and I have carved out the perfect life for two. We both have two door cars (and mine is a VW Bug, a very small car), and we have a house with a loft and two bedrooms (one that doubles as our home office no less). So, where would baby go? Yeah, exactly.
Our friends came and visited with their new baby a couple of months ago and it was a huge wakeup call for me. The amount of "stuff" that comes with baby is overwhelming. They pretty much brought a whole bedroom set for their little one in their car. I mean, I go to Babies R Us occasionally to shop for shower gifts and am constantly educated by all of the items that you need for a baby. Things I'd never heard of. Things I'd never even thought of. Things I'd never even IMAGINE existed.
So, now I'm teetering between the excitement of what my future may hold, and the sheer terror of it all. Is it worth it? I see my friends with their new babies and can see the happiness and contentment that has been brought to their lives and realize that they know something I don't know. I think, and hope I'm ready for this. But, it really is all a bit overwhelming.
If and when I have news, I'm sure that many many more blogs like this shall follow .