Friday, December 28, 2007
Things I would like to know in order to be a better “pregnant” father:
1. What is the appropriate caring male response to the question "you wish you were pregnant instead of me, don't you?"
This is a loaded question. Carrie read in one of her pregnancy books that there are men out there who wish that they were pregnant instead of their wives just so they could experience the whole miracle of birth thing. There are even supposed "pregnancy simulation camps", where men get to carry around large fake pregnant bellies and experience what it would be like to be pregnant for a weekend. Frankly, I think that's a little weird. If you think about it, there's very little difference between that and those goth kids who run around the forest pretending to be vampires. Anyway, I have no desire to actually be pregnant, thank you. But the thing is, Carrie isn't really asking "do you want to be pregnant." She's actually asking, "if you had the opportunity, would you shoulder this burden for me." And yes, I do want to be helpful and supportive and make things as easy for her as possible because, as an understanding and thoughtful contemporary male, I understand and appreciate that pregnancy does take a physical toll. So now I'm looking for ways to answer this question that sound as if I'm a caring and compassionate partner without sounding like I have some weird pregnancy fetish. This is a growing dilema for me, as Carrie asks me this question at least once every 1.5-2 weeks. I'm thinking now about faking sympathetic pregnancy symptoms. Maybe she'll stop asking if I start developing all kinds of unexplained lower back pain; we can trade stories.
What am I going to have for dinner?
On 99% of occasions since we've been married, Carrie has picked what restaurant we go to. This occurs for two reasons: 1) I can go to any restaurant in the country during their normal business hours, find something on their menu, order it, eat it, and be happy; hence I honestly never care where we go eat, and 2) Carrie is very discerning about what she has an appetite for at any given time, hence there are only a limited number of restaurants at any given moment where she could eat and be happy. This discerning attitude has only become more prominent during her pregnancy. It is now to the point where it is virtually impossible to predict what she will be craving on any given day. Obviously, this makes planning meals very difficult. We have devised two potential solutions for this problem: 1) buy every food and/or ingredient that could conceivably be made into dinner so that we have everything on hand at all times, and 2) eat out every night. Neither of these options is at all appealing. I think we've found some middle ground and we're making progress on this front. Still, it's hard to be the caring and sensitive cook of healthy meals when your wife would prefer a Qdoba burrito.
Will I make it through the winter without contracting hypothermia?
As an involved husband, I know that the increased blood flow that leads to the notorious "pregnant glow" may also result in an increase in body temperature in pregnant women. This has certainly happened with Carrie. Normally, at this time of year, Carrie would be very upset about the cold temperature. This year, we are keeping our house at 62 degrees, because this is the temperature at which Carrie is comfortable at night. I will repeat this in case you didn't think you read that correctly; IN THE DEAD OF WINTER IN INDIANA, OUR HOUSE IS SET AT 62 DEGREES! The good news is that I am not as worried about the rising cost of natural gas as I would be if we were heating our house as normal. The bad news is that I wake up every morning shivering, use a ton of hot water in the shower, and proceed to shiver even more once my shower is done. Carrie, of course, is completely comfortable.
Please know, I am not complaining, nor am I at my wits end or anything. I'm just adjusting to life with my pregnant wife and trying to make the experience as easy for her as possible. That's what the caring husband is supposed to do isn't it? After all, it isn't about me, it's about Carrie and the little baby she's carrying right now. I think I can stand being a little chilly for them. =:^)
Monday, December 24, 2007
This is at 21 weeks (and I am supposed to expect 40?!!!!)
So, Merry Christmas, everyone! You can go out and stuff your face all day tomorrow and I bet you won't come out looking quite like this.
Anyway, I digress….
So, we went to Babies R Us a couple of days ago and now that we know we are having a boy, I am excited to start the nursery. We’d already picked out the crib/changing table ensemble (which we haven’t bought yet, but I’m thinking it will be soon now… the problem? We have to totally re-locate our home office into various rooms in our house. Yeah, that kind of sucks. Anyone want a leopard print chez lounge? No, really, I am serious!). Now, we have picked out what I think will be our nursery theme. I REALLY would love someone somewhere to have created a Butler Bulldogs nursery bedding package (for all not in the know, Steve and I met at Butler)… I scoured the internet, and if we were fans of a major university, certain sites have nursery bedding for like say, Alabama. However, no Butler University. So, I think we have settled on a sage colored teddy bear theme. Now we have to start buying everything…let the fun begin! I actually DID already buy a really cute onesie set with puppy dogs on it - I couldn’t help it.
And, the biggest decision we’ve made? We picked out a name. Actually, we had picked out a name while we were still dating in college. Yeah. So, for about 8-10 years we’ve known what we would name a boy. A girl? That changed several times - but a boy… we were pretty dead set on Brett. Now, I know what you all are thinking – that Steve is a huge Packers fan, so Brett MUST be because of Brett Favre. Well, me and my football hating mentality would have to somewhat cave to this and admit that on his end, this probably had a pretty big influence. But, I genuinely like the name, and it’s much better than his second choice – Lars. Seriously (you know the guy in Metallica?). Yeah, I don’t think so. Actually, someone I know asked me if Brett was after Brett Michaels. I thought that was pretty funny (Steve would kill me for that – since Poison isn’t a “real” band, you know… according to him anyway). So, no more Jose Cuervo, or Dos Equis (our due date is May 5th – Cinco de Mayo, which lead to some fun early baby names). It’s Brett. And no, Steve, you can’t call it “the kid” anymore :).
Friday, December 21, 2007
It's been an interesting past few weeks for me. Around week 15 I started to feel the baby move. At first it really did feel like "butterflies" in my stomach (and not from nerves…just little flutters moving here and there). And then about 2-3 weeks ago I was sitting at my desk at work and suddenly I felt this little poke at my abdomen. My first baby kick! Then, with increasing frequency the baby decides to run a marathon one day (that's the only logical explanation I have for it), and then sleep all day the next. On Sunday the kicks were finally palpable enough that Steve was able to put his hand on my belly and feel them for himself. It definitely makes the experience much more real.
The most obvious change has been my ever-expanding belly. Seriously. The only pregnant picture I have posted here is at week 14. You can see a round belly starting to emerge. It's crazy now. I am in week 20, and when I tell people I'm due in May they give me this look that seems to indicate fascination-horror. If I had to judge, I'd say I look more like I'm about 7 months pregnant than 5. And, what started as a slight overall weight gain has gone straight to my belly. (When I walked into work Monday, my co-worker Brandie looked at me and told me that SHE thought my belly had gotten much bigger over the weekend, and she sees me practically every day). This has made life slightly more uncomfortable. First of all, sleeping has become quite a challenge. I have to sleep on my side (and my body desperately wants to be on it's back). This causes leg cramps, and even though I am following all the advice in the book (sleeping with lots of strategically placed pillows) it's not generally working for me. Also, beginning this past week I've started to experience lower back pain. I don't think there is too much that I can do to prevent this (I mean, I can't even see my feet when I look down any more, it's all belly). Luckily for me I have a loving husband who doesn't seem to mind the fact that I am growing like a whale and gives great back massages.
There are other slightly un-pleasant parts of pregnancy that I am also experiencing, but I don't feel like going into that much detail on my blog. Let's just say that pregnancy is a total body experience.
Finally, the biggest thing that has happened in my pregnant life lately was the ultrasound we had on Tuesday. Now, keep in mind, EVERYONE was telling me that based on every old wives tale in the book (baby's heart rate, how I was carrying, etc. etc.) that I was absolutely having a girl. Even my own mother (who rarely gets the gender wrong) was so convinced that she was calling me up every few days with suggestions for girls' names. I was trying to keep an open mind here. I mean, I didn't have the evidence to support the fact that I was having a girl, but deep down I knew that's where I was leaning. I'd already had visions of sharing experiences from my childhood with my daughter and decorating her nursery pink and putting her hair in bows and buying her all of my old favorite toys – Rainbow Bright, Care Bears, My Little Ponies. You see, secretly I am afraid of having a boy…I grew up with 2 brothers and Steve had 2 brothers (so I know the gene pool towards boys is strong). And, I HATE, I mean HATE football… and I know that Steve would have the little man watching football with him all day on Sunday, every Sunday. I also don't like to wrestle or play with cars or those violent Playstation games.
However, I know several friends of mine who have recently had boys and absolutely love them to pieces. I also know how horrible and catty pre-teen/teen girls can be (yes, I was one of the "picked on" ones in grade school and it was on of the worst feelings in my life). So, I didn't want to have that all waiting for me. As girly as I can be, I HATE drama.
So, here we are on Tuesday, sitting at the doctor (and yes, I did have to drink all ungodly 32 ounces of fluid to have this ultrasound). The doctor covers my belly with that gel-like stuff and starts to look around. I let her know that we want to know the sex if possible. Immediately she smiles and definitively tells us it's a boy (and trust me – he is most definitely a boy, absolutely no denying it, a very proud boy. We have the blackmail pictures – which I didn't post - to prove it.) I was immediately shocked and so was Steve I think. Although, I could tell that he was incredibly excited (I mean, what father doesn't want his own little man around?). At this point though I was so relieved to see that my baby was healthy. It's amazing to see what detail they can show on those ultrasounds (you can even see all 4 chambers of his heart). He was growing like a normal baby and that made me so happy. You see, I was secretly worried that I'd be at the doctor and they'd tell me my baby had like 2 heads or it's spine was growing outside of it's body or something like that. Not the case. He was a large healthy boy, contently kicking his feet and rolling around. Needless to say, I have to re-adjust my mindframe towards having a boy, but I've started to come around. We've got some cute nursery themes in mind – I just really,really hope that he's a momma's boy, you know?
His Little Foot
But, at least now I think that my massive belly is starting to make sense. See, my husband is 6"4' (compared to my 5"3' height), and all of the men in his family are super tall. And, this kid obviously has Steve's genes. He is in the 75th percentile of size for his age. He should weigh ¾ of a pound and he's already at least a pound. And, he has super-long legs (which the doctor noted with his femur length). Yeah, my belly doesn't stand a chance here (again, the doctor noted that my abdomen was larger than normal). When I told one of my friends who I had dinner with on Wednesday about my predicament, she emailed me a link to this girl's blog who recently had an 11 pound girl! (She is about my height/weight and her hubby about Steve's height). Near the end of the pregnancy her belly could have had it's own zip code. Seriously. I had a foreshadowing of the future. I don't think it will be pretty. I just hope that Steve can keep up with the back massages!
Well, that's all for now. I wish I had different subjects to blog about, but this pregnancy thing is kind of all-consuming and the most interesting thing going on in my life right now. I will attempt to find my way back to bed now that it's almost 4:00. I guess I could have another 2 good hours if I am lucky.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Now there is shopping, decorating, baking, Christmas cards…all of which CAN be fun if they weren't things that you had to schedule to do. A lot of these things don't translate to the working woman in the 21st century. See, I picture 1950's housewives really getting into this. What did they have to worry about anyway, except for fetching groceries and cleaning their houses while managing to look perfect? (No disrespect for stay at home mom's – BTW, I just think the portrayal of the typical housewife back in the day is soooo annoying!) I bet they were the ones who created those intricate Christmas cookies that take forever to make. Why not? What else did they have to do?
This year I haven't really wanted to do any of the typical holiday things, therefore I have a kind of "git r done" mentality about it all. Saturday we decorated the inside and outside of our house and I finished my Christmas cards and shopping (Steve and I battled the Black Friday crowds and actually got almost all of it done last week). Yesterday I wrapped so that all that is left is the obligatory Christmas cookie baking weekend (see my blog from last year… it's an insane Graunke family tradition). Why the frenzy? Because I've got so much other stuff going on in my life right now that I'd be totally stressed about it all and worried up until the day I got it done.
On top of all of the things you have to do to get ready for the holidays… you are also expected to enjoy every second of it and be "in the Christmas spirit" at all times. I mean, except for your wedding day (where you are expected to be ecstatically happy and emotional) what other occasion pressures you to feel a certain way? It's almost claustrophobic. I haven't really felt "the Christmas spirit" in a few years now (well, except when I've been able to imbibe a few "spirits", which alas will not be happening this year) and it's kind of sad, really.
Anyone else on board with me?
Saturday, November 3, 2007
In my mind I knew I'd have to give up things I enjoyed… alcohol, caffeine, sushi…but I didn't really think about how LONG I'd have to give it up for. (I've even been told that I can't have cold lunch meat, but sue me… every once in awhile I have to give in to my Subway cravings… at least it's healthy!).
Sushi isn't something that we eat on a very regular basis, but we do enjoy it. Sushi rolls, sashimi…I can't say that I'm dying to eat it every day, but I have wanted it and know I can't have it. The worst was on our cruise… they had a sushi bar and I passed by it every day studying the menu, knowing what I WOULD order and then not.
The other two… it's been harder. I'm usually okay with not drinking. I mean, it's not like I'd have a drink every day anyway, but I LOVE good wine. Seriously, one of Steve's and my hobbies is going to wineries and trying all different types of wine. I even have a few wine books and am interested in how different grapes fermented different ways can produce various varieties of wine. In fact, we have about 2 CASES of wine from our different trips to southern Indiana wineries (and everyone who hasn't been to Oliver in Bloomington… you seriously have to go…it's absolutely beautiful and it makes for a very romantic afternoon). These cases of wine are currently being stored in our garage (out of sight out of mind, right?). Our wine rack even conveniently fell down and we haven't put it back up. Recently I've found myself missing a nice glass of Cawtaba or Muscat with dinner. It's even hard to watch some of my favorite shows, like Brothers & Sisters, where the characters are always enjoying a nice glass of wine. I also miss martini's, but not like I miss wine. I know I must sound like a total alcoholic, but try taking something away for almost a year that you enjoy. It'll make you crazy! Recently my doctor said that an occasional glass won't hurt… so I'm already planning to have one with Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners (as well as a champagne toast on New Year's Eve!). This is getting me through…
Finally, I believe that removing caffeine from a pregnant woman's diet is downright cruel and unusual punishment! When the books say that you'll be incredibly fatigued during early pregnancy, they aint lyin! I've had days at work where I just want to stop answering the phone and ignore all residents and just put my head down on my desk and sleep. I've also been turning in somewhere between 8:30-9:00 almost every night (thank god for tivo!). Yeah, and I can't have caffeine to help combat this complication in my busy life. I've started drinking decaf lattes from Starbucks. They aren't the same as the lattes with espresso, but they are okay I guess.
Steve and I went to Starbucks this morning to enjoy a latte and a muffin. While drinking my DECAF pumpkin spice latte, a barista came around with samples of the fully loaded version for us to try. I jumped at it, and Steve's initial reaction was, "maybe you shouldn't". I gave him the look of death. I ended up drinking ½ the sample and gave him the rest (come on, it wasn't even an 1/8 of a cup of coffee). I told him that one day science was going to find a way for men to become pregnant and then he'd have to suffer like me. He agreed that it would make for a good science fiction novel… bitter women injecting men with a drug giving them pregnancy symptoms and then the women would withhold caffeine and alcohol. Not a bad idea! .
So, not only does this part suck, I also have a not-so-healthy diet going on right now. Not much sounds good and within the last 2 weeks, meat had stopped sounding good too. However, cheese does sound good. I've eaten a lot of cheese pizza (with limited sauce, tomato sauce still makes me queasy), and mac n' cheese. I hope that all food starts to sound good soon because my baby is going to come out bigger than the Michelin man!
Anyway, that's my pregnant rant for today. Tomorrow (Sunday) I start week 14. I am into my second trimester… I've heard things get better….we'll see!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
But before I start dinner, I thought I'd jot down a few things that have been floating around in my head. This may be sort of an unorganized blog, but follow me here. (I can use the excuse of "baby brain" – not alcohol! - if my thoughts are incoherent).
First of all, let me touch on the vacay, but I won't dwell on it too long for I fear that reading it may turn into watching Aunt Mildred's slideshow of her trip to Florida. I had that thought after I wrote my last cruise blog and no one commented on it!
It was great. We had excellent weather for the most part. Steve and I took a 5 day Carnival cruise from New Orleans to the ports of Progresso and Cozumel, Mexico. We had our friends Rick & Tina with us… which I now highly recommend cruising with friends. While the guys watched football on Sunday on our first day at sea, Tina and I booked a relaxing massage and facial at the spa. I highly doubt Steve would have wanted to do that!
The ports were interesting…we visited Mayan ruins in Progresso and learned a lot about the culture, which was fascinating. Cozumel resulted in a day of shopping for me and Steve because there wasn't much I could do (aka – PREGNANT). I wanted to swim with dolphins, or ride horses or do a zipline through the jungle. Yeah, it didn't happen. Lots of good shops in Cozumel, but lots of scary aggressive people wanting to be your amigo. I held my purse tightly to my side. I did manage to buy a beautiful sapphire ring, though, that matched the sapphire necklace I got in Jamaica.
Best part of the cruise had to be dinner of course. Warm chocolate melting cake is a must for anyone who takes a Carnival cruise. Our waiter gave me the recipe. Pure heaven. The only problem was that dinner was so late (8:30 seating) and my body didn't want to stay up that late so plenty of naps were in order during the day to get through. Worst part of the cruise? Pregnancy meant no alcohol…yeah, it sucked. Every 5 minutes a waiter seemed to walk past asking if I wanted to buy the drink of the day. Trust me, I WANTED to. (I kept joking that I needed to wear a t-shirt that said "I'm pregnant"). I haven't missed alcohol a lot, but this was really hard for me. Drinking is kind of expected on a cruise.
And, that parlays to the second part of my blog, pregnancy. I'm now 11 weeks along, and last week, my belly decided to pop out a little bit (which was kind of a relief… I'd just been looking "fat" without really looking pregnant, now I think I'm beginning to look believable). This wasn't much of a problem on the ship because I had purchased larger sized capris and tops, so they fit pretty well. Flash forward to Friday, when we were home… somehow the weather went from 90 degrees the day we left to 60. Yeah, it was chilly, and yeah, I didn't have a single pair of jeans that fit.
Gathering up my pride, I put on a pair of tight sweatpants and went to the store where I forayed the maternity section for the first time. I needed jeans and I had to face reality. What I encountered were "okay" jeans…(I was hoping for bootcut, these were a little more on the "mom jeans" order, but not too bad), but they had these crazy cloth elastic waistbands. I tried a few pairs on and found one that I could kind of grow into. They look slightly hideous, but man are they comfortable! The tops weren't too bad, pretty basic empire waist styles are okay with me. I also broke down and got some other necessary maternity attire. I hated shelling out the money, but I had to. My clothes are not fitting! It's hard to realize that I'm not getting "fat", I'm just pregnant.
Anyway, now that I am just beginning to "show", I am carrying high. According to my mom again (who is a pretty accurate judge of what people have), it looks like I'm having a girl. That combined with the high heartbeat, plus I feel like I am having a girl, makes me think we are pregnant with a girl. (Also, there are other things like this Chinese chart I found online, and other old wives tales that point toward a girl). So, because of all of this mounting evidence, Steve is firmly convinced we are having a boy. I don't know if it is because he wants someone to throw the football with and teach about the Packers (which he swears he will do even if we have a girl – groan), or if he really thinks that we are having a boy. Either way I'm happy. Just as long as it's healthy (and I'm disheartened and frightened as I write this because someone Steve and I know who was pregnant and due almost exactly the same time we are just found out that they lost their baby. Even though I'm almost out of my 1st trimester, this grounds me and lets me know I'm not out of the woods yet.) I'm almost inclined to take a belly picture to see what the consensus is among everyone. Maybe next time.
That's all for now. Tomorrow - back to work .
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I actually found out that I was pregnant, literally the very same week that I got my job promotion. It went something like this:
Tuesday – Job Promotion
Friday – Holy crap, I'm pregnant! (Those were the actual words I think I used when I saw the positive test).
I woke up Steve with the positive pregnancy test.. "Honey, I think you should wake up now, there's something I have to tell you". In retrospect, maybe that wasn't the best way to get him to start the day, because he couldn't concentrate on anything else all day (and neither could I) and we had to drive to Chicago and get ready and all. We definitely forgot a few things.
Anyway, I found out on August 24th and have been keeping it (mostly) to myself for the past month. Not too big of a problem at first. Well, except for clothing (and as I eluded to in my title – have you shopped the juniors department lately? All of the fall styles are empired waisted! I can actually have a fashionable pregnancy). For those who have never been pregnant before… certain parts of your body also begin to expand rather rapidly (and no, I'm not necessary talking about the belly).
Besides that, I was tired and then about 2-3 weeks ago the dreaded morning sickness kicked in. And I'm not talking morning, I'm talking an all day nausea that DOES NOT go away. Yeah, good times when I'm busy as heck at work.
On a side note, re-referencing my work, I was seriously worried for awhile about my stress level affecting my baby. The stress is slowly diminishing, and I hope that it continues to do so.
So, all that said… I had my first doctor appointment today. I had no idea what to expect, and we talked the nurses' ear off for an hour, but she gladly answered all of my questions. The highlight? We got an ultrasound! Since we are going on a cruise here in a few days, they wanted to make sure the baby had a heartbeat before we got out of the country. So, we got to see and hear the heartbeat via ultrasound, as well as see the little "bean" in my body. Seriously. This little thing is about the size of a kidney bean (I'm about 8 weeks along), but it still has a beating heart and is developing all of it's major organs and everything. How seriously cool is that?
Everything checked out normal, and the baby's heartbeat was 168 (which, according to my mother "sounds like a girl") based on the fast heartbeat. I don't care. As long as it's healthy!
So, that's my month in a nutshell. I'm soooo ready to be relaxing on the boat and walking through the sand in Mexico. This cruise will be totally different than the one we took in February (no booze and no bikini, plus we are going with our friends Rick & Tina), but I'm looking forward to it I think, even more!