Thursday, October 23, 2008

What I Would Give For This Advice!

After having a fabulous lunch with my friend Emily yesterday, I became inspired to do my own version of a blog she posted a couple of months ago. So don't think I'm being original or anything... I just think it's a very cool concept.

Dear College Senior Carrie,

Girl, you have your whole life ahead of you! I know you are stressing out right now about finals and graduation and paying student loans and getting a job, but these things WILL happen. And, in fact, they are just small milestones that you will cross as you make your way through your rocky, yet fabulous 20's.

First of all, most importantly, see that guy you are dating? Hold on to him. He is a wonderful and amazing man and in about 3 years you will marry him. I know some people will tell you that you won't make it, but you will for one very big reason. He is your best friend. Not only can you look at him and get "dreamy" (as your former college roommate would tease you about), he "gets" you. You can confide about ANYTHING to him. And, this is very important to you as you are going through a rough time in your sorority right now.

Your marriage will immediately go through some unpleasant times... and you will make it. First of all, right after you get married you will be robbed and you will have to live in that apartment for the next couple of years even though you feel violated in that place. Secondly, he will go back to grad school and it will mean LOTS of late nights for him and you'll not get to eat dinner together for a couple of years (this will ultimately mean a good job for him, and doc school for him at 29... but it gets much better). And, the worst part? You will be FIRED. Seriously. FIRED. You, Carrie, a girl who excelled at everything and were at the top of her class will lose her job. You will feel horrible and will go into a deep depression for several months. If I could give you one word of advice during this time, it is that you are not a "bad person" and no one thinks you are a "failure" as you think you are. You will eventually get back up and go through a few more jobs before you are done with your 20's.

This in fact, if you can use it to your advantage, will give you strength. I know that right now you are so concerned with doing the "right thing", and are afraid to have a differing opinion than others. Don't be afraid! Have an opinion, and be knowledgeable about it and have the confidence to back it up! Just because everyone else feels one way doesn't mean you have to as well. This will be something that you will be forced into when you become the boss at 29. So, start working on it now!

And that embarrassing old '87 Reliant with the radio that doesn't work and the plastic seats (covered by old people who owned it before)? You will eventually get rid of it! It won't be until you are 25, but you WILL get the VW Beetle of your dreams. It will be a shiny yellow one with a spoiler and tinted windows and everything. Exactly what you've been pining for for the last couple of years. And, you will eventually total said bug on... wait for it.... Bash Street. You will find this funny later, but you will be devistated when it happens. But insurance comes through and you are able to get a shiny brand-spanking-new-off-the-lot blue bug. She's just as shiny as your old one, but not exactly the same. You will love her, nonetheless.

One thing you should start now....repeat, repeat, repeat to yourself... "Your worth is not determined by a number on a scale." Your husband will try to drill this mantra into your head, and it will take awhile, but you will slowly come to the realization that maybe, just possibly he is right? You will still have body issues but nothing like what they were when you were 21.

Speaking of which... your body, which you will work tirelessly at maintaining throughout your 20's, will go through the ringer when you have a baby at age 30. You will pack on a LOT of weight, and your ankles will disappear for awhile. But, after you have your precious little baby it won't matter as much as you thought it did. You will lose a lot of the weight, and you will continue to lose it. Slowly. Through patience and exercise. Although taking it off is important (and mainly important so that you can fit into 90% of your old clothes), it doesn't matter nearly as much to you as it once did.

Yes, you will have a child, and no, it will not ruin your life as you had thought it would. Up until 28-29, you will think that having a baby will ruin/end your life as you know it. And yes, it does sort of end the previous life you knew, but in a GOOD way. Suddenly you will realize that it is so much more fulfilling to care about your baby's little life, and not your own so much. You will actually wish that you had begun the process earlier so that you could have more time to have children.

And, through your pregnancy, your wonderful husband will see every angle of you (and I'm not just speaking hypothetically. I mean, LITERALLY). And, they ain't all pretty. He'll get to see you at your lowest and ugliest and he will be there holding your hand and supporting you through everything. Then and there you will realize how much he really loves you and you'll make him promise to never leave you because you can't imagine your life without him.

Friends will come and go, and some will stick around forever. You know that friend who left after your sophomore year at Butler and you cried and cried your eyes out because you thought you were losing your best friend? You WON'T lose her! Your friendship will prove to be so strong that it will stand the test of time and you will both routinely go out of your way to see each other to reconnect and catch up. In fact, she will be your matron of honor at your wedding, and you will both have little boys (yes, your baby is a boy :)) who will (hopefully) grow up to be buddies.

Other friends will pop in and out. Some friendships will burn brightly for a couple of years and then fizzle out quickly for various reasons and you'll never see them again. This will hurt you deeply. Twice. But you'll eventually get (mostly) over it. Some old friendships will re-form after the wonderful invention of myspace, and you'll realize that some of your oldest friends that you can reconnect with can be the best friends. So look around that sorority house you are living in right now... some of these girls are getting on your last nerve right now and you can't wait to leave, but give it a few years and you'll be glad you have them. In fact, one of your sorority sisters (who actually never got on your nerves) is getting married in a couple of weeks, and it is a wedding you are sooo looking forward to because she was one of your very first friends at Butler.

You will buy a house, and take some nice vacations, and have nice things, but always remember what is really important... your friends and family. I can't promise this will all be easy, but you are on the right track. It's hard to say what the future holds, but this decade ain't looking so bad thus far...


30-Year-Old Carrie


Andrea said...

What a beautiful post!

amypfan said...

I love this post! I think College Senior Amy could have used some similar advice.