This is from my original post on December 28, 2007. I was looking back into my blog archives the other day and had a great time reminiscing about my thoughts and feelings on my first pregnancy with Brett. Steve had written this blog on his Myspace page (don't you remember the good ole' days of Myspace? :) ), and I decided to post it on my blog back then. Here it is again in it's entirety to re-read. I laugh because I'm sure he feels the same way about some things this go around as well :)
Things I would like to know in order to be a better “pregnant” father:
1. What is the appropriate caring male response to the question "you wish you were pregnant instead of me, don't you?"
This is a loaded question. Carrie read in one of her pregnancy books that there are men out there who wish that they were pregnant instead of their wives just so they could experience the whole miracle of birth thing. There are even supposed "pregnancy simulation camps", where men get to carry around large fake pregnant bellies and experience what it would be like to be pregnant for a weekend. Frankly, I think that's a little weird. If you think about it, there's very little difference between that and those goth kids who run around the forest pretending to be vampires. Anyway, I have no desire to actually be pregnant, thank you. But the thing is, Carrie isn't really asking "do you want to be pregnant." She's actually asking, "if you had the opportunity, would you shoulder this burden for me." And yes, I do want to be helpful and supportive and make things as easy for her as possible because, as an understanding and thoughtful contemporary male, I understand and appreciate that pregnancy does take a physical toll. So now I'm looking for ways to answer this question that sound as if I'm a caring and compassionate partner without sounding like I have some weird pregnancy fetish. This is a growing dilemma for me, as Carrie asks me this question at least once every 1.5-2 weeks. I'm thinking now about faking sympathetic pregnancy symptoms. Maybe she'll stop asking if I start developing all kinds of unexplained lower back pain; we can trade stories.
What am I going to have for dinner?
On 99% of occasions since we've been married, Carrie has picked what restaurant we go to. This occurs for two reasons: 1) I can go to any restaurant in the country during their normal business hours, find something on their menu, order it, eat it, and be happy; hence I honestly never care where we go eat, and 2) Carrie is very discerning about what she has an appetite for at any given time, hence there are only a limited number of restaurants at any given moment where she could eat and be happy. This discerning attitude has only become more prominent during her pregnancy. It is now to the point where it is virtually impossible to predict what she will be craving on any given day. Obviously, this makes planning meals very difficult. We have devised two potential solutions for this problem: 1) buy every food and/or ingredient that could conceivably be made into dinner so that we have everything on hand at all times, and 2) eat out every night. Neither of these options is at all appealing. I think we've found some middle ground and we're making progress on this front. Still, it's hard to be the caring and sensitive cook of healthy meals when your wife would prefer a Qdoba burrito.
Will I make it through the winter without contracting hypothermia?
As an involved husband, I know that the increased blood flow that leads to the notorious "pregnant glow" may also result in an increase in body temperature in pregnant women. This has certainly happened with Carrie. Normally, at this time of year, Carrie would be very upset about the cold temperature. This year, we are keeping our house at 62 degrees, because this is the temperature at which Carrie is comfortable at night. I will repeat this in case you didn't think you read that correctly; IN THE DEAD OF WINTER IN INDIANA, OUR HOUSE IS SET AT 62 DEGREES! The good news is that I am not as worried about the rising cost of natural gas as I would be if we were heating our house as normal. The bad news is that I wake up every morning shivering, use a ton of hot water in the shower, and proceed to shiver even more once my shower is done. Carrie, of course, is completely comfortable.
Please know, I am not complaining, nor am I at my wits end or anything. I'm just adjusting to life with my pregnant wife and trying to make the experience as easy for her as possible. That's what the caring husband is supposed to do isn't it? After all, it isn't about me, it's about Carrie and the little baby she's carrying right now. I think I can stand being a little chilly for them. =:^)