Monday, February 23, 2009

Exorcising The Demons

I have to give Steve credit for the title of this post.

Yes, I have officially exorcised a big demon from my past.

It all started a few weeks ago when I, like many facebookers who are sucked into the evil site, posted their infamous "25 random facts". I didn't put too much stock into mine... I sat and just started to type what came into my head. One of the "facts" that I decided to list was that at the tail end of my senior year of college, my sorority pin was taken away from me for shenangians that I felt were very unfair. I left college bitter and vowing never to set foot in that house again. There were several people who I wanted to cut out of my life altogether, and it was really sad. The first 3 years of my college sorority experience were pretty fun... I made a lot of great friends and the house was beautiful to live in. However, by senior year, Steve and I were very serious and I just wasn't on the same page as a lot of the other girls. I was looking for a job, and was thinking about marriage, while a lot of these girls were looking forward to the next all-campus event... not that I didn't love those greek events in the past. I was just at a different place in my life, you know? I was ready to graduate and move on with my life... and an organization I'd given the last four years of my life to took it all away from me.

It took me A LONG time to sort of make sense of it. I was bitter, betrayed and angry. I'd finally put it (mostly) away behind me when I joined these social networking sites and rekindled old friendships. Alot of these were sorority sisters. The healing process was in effect, but was just missing one key element... my sorority pin.

Well, flash forward 10 years... a sister from my pledge class who has since become very involved with the national headquarters read my list and emailed me and told me that they should have never taken my pin away. She contacted the current president and they FOUND my pin! It was in the archives. I couldn't believe it! Not that I'll probably have many opportunities to wear it any more but it is MY PIN. I earned it.

Well, on Friday she emailed me back and said that the president had it and I could swing by. My heart skipped a beat. That meant I had to enter the house I'd vowed never to return to. It was a huge thing. I was TERRIFIED. I thought about it. I even emailed another sorority sister to see if she had time to stop by with me. I wasn't going alone. I definitely needed moral support.

Sunday moring I woke up with the attitude of "I'm going to go today and just DO IT." Steve said he'd go with me, so we packed up Brett and drove back to Butler's campus. We've been to Butler several times since I'd graduated, but I've never been back to 831 Hampton Drive. We parked and got Brett out and walked up the steps. It was a little surreal. Some things had changed but others had remained the same in those 10 years. The door opened and I was greeted by the familiar site of the formal. It looked slightly different, but it was the same house. Memories flooded back. I met the president and she was so nice! I got to tour the house and see all of the changes... I was WELCOMED back to the house that I felt like I had been shunned from. She gave me my pin back and told me that I was welcome to join in the alumni part of the initiation ceremony for this spring's class. I left feeling like I wanted to be involved again... like next time I go to Homecoming I'll make a point to stop by the house, and maybe attend other alumni events.

Finally sunshine and rainbows about my old sorority. It took 10 years- but I think I'm FINALLY healed.


Andrea said...

Sorry to hear about all the bad feelings leaving college. That must have been really tough. Isn't it funny how something that was seemingly insignificant at the time can set things in motion and suddenly fix everything? Glad you got your pin back and glad you can now make new better memories in that house through alumni events! :)

Cathy said...

I'm happy that this finally got resolved. As for your pin, I actually wore my Mom's Pi Phi pin on my wedding day, maybe you can share it as someone's something borrowed too!

Christina said...

Hey Carrie---I'm glad you were able to heal your Pi Phi wounds. I gotta say that after I moved out of the house late in my senior year (while still paying to live there), I was pretty much done with sorority life. My biggest mistake was trying to take on an impossible leadership role when there was so much internal struggle between "tradition" and the executive council. It's sad, but those demons are still there for me....but I'm really happy you were able to get rid of yours. I never heard the story about them taking your pin--I'm sure it was for a petty reason though:)