Losing It

The baby weight that is :). And, I'm not talking about the Kaia baby weight...that came off as soon as she came out. I mean, the Brett weight...the really OLD, like 3 year old baby weight.

Yeah, I USED to be skinny. I ate right...I exercised every day. And then I got pregnant and threw everything I knew about everything out the window.

See, my vice is food. I know for some people it is alcohol or drugs or any number of things...for me, a Reese Cup sends me into a tizzy (and now I REALLY want one now that I am thinking about it). I have also never had a "healthy" relationship with food. When I was in high school someone said I was "fat" (which at 5'3 and 130 pounds, I NOW beg to differ) so, I felt horrible and became almost anorexic. I'd count every calorie that went into my mouth and got down to a super skinny frame. Well, in college I gained the lovely freshman 15 and then some.....but I never had a healthy relationship with food. If I was stressed or tired or bored, food was there to comfort me.

So, after I'd finally had as firm of a grip as I'd ever had on this eating thing/body image...I got pregnant. And what comes with pregnancy? Lots of worries, and feeling bad and all of that. Plus cravings! It didn't help that I read the Jenny McCarthy book in which she ate a pan of brownies every day. I guess I decided I really needed to eat for 2...and I put on a whopping 60 pounds during that pregnancy.

I did lose some of it, yeah, but I didn't work terribly hard to get the rest off. I was stressed about having a young baby and breaking him... plus I was nursing (which I used as an excuse the first time around I think), and I was on a horrible medicine that is known for making people fat. And, I guess that I wasn't all that intent on becoming skinny again because I knew that we wanted another baby and I would just get fat again.

Well, that was all also compounded by trying to sell our house 2 summers ago. Even though the market was horrible, we thought we'd try anyway. What a mistake! We had 96 showings over 6 months...with 2 dogs and a toddler it was arguably the most stressful period of my life. We also ate out almost every night because it seemed someone was coming out to see the house. It is going to be a LONG time before I want to put myself through that again. We never did sell the house. So, I put a few MORE pounds back on during that time due to stress and eating out.

And then, shortly after it went off the market (it had been less than 2 months) I got pregnant again. And I wasn't a small girl this time around. In fact, it was one year ago tomorrow that I went for my first Dr. appointment and was HORRIFIED when I saw the number on the scale. From the get go I ate more healthy, but it still wasn't enough to combat the Gestational Diabetes that eventually happened. Would I have still gotten it if I was skinny before I got pregnant? I can't say for sure (Diabetes DOES run in my family), but I'm sure the weight didn't help. But in a twisted way, the GD WAS a good thing. I felt much better after I got diagnosed and under control, and I only ended up gaining net 8 POUNDS during this pregnancy.

So it was great to see that I had lost a whopping 27 pounds at my 6 week appointment. Well I haven't weighed myself since, and the holidays happened and all....but now that it's all over, I'm going to FINALLY loose the rest of this weight.

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions...I see it as a set up for failure....however I am setting a goal to be back into some of my old 2's and 4's by Kaia's first birthday. I realize my body has changed and I probably won't fit into it all, but some would be nice.

So, I've found this awesome website - babyfit. com. It tells you how many calories as a nursing mom you need to eat per day to keep up your milk production. So, I have been food journaling on the site as well as getting back into my old fitness habits. I used to lift weights a few times a week (I've been doing that) as well as pilates (I tried it again for the first time Sunday) and then running on our treadmill (okay, I'm only up to walking, but still it's good for now).

I can already tell my pants are looser and I've moved down a size. I probably won't hit the scale for awhile as this makes me obsessed with the number...but I can see progress so far.

So, that's what I've been up to lately...focusing on getting down to my pre-pregnancy size. We are like 95% sure we are DONE having kids so I have no more excuses! Plus, since I have a little girl now I feel like I need to set a good body image for her, and I don't want her to have a fat mama.

Wish me luck!!!!

Like Mother, Like Daughter - Part II

So, this post is a continuation of my amazement of how Kaia's baby pictures continue to look like mine. Again, not identically, but enough to make me look twice. Her eyes are larger, and she has her daddy's widow peak, but I'd argue the rest is all pretty darn similar...even down to skin tone, hair and eye color.

I found this pic of myself at 7 months...so a little older than Kaia is currently, but the expressions were similar so I had to post it.



Sometimes when I look at her I swear it's like looking in a mirror :)

Kaia's 4 Month Appointment

Well, 4 1/2 months is more like it. But anyway, the doctor said that the percentages were accurate based on her birth date not her "4 month appointment"

So here's the latest and greatest stats for Miss K:

Weight: 14 lbs. 12.8 oz - 66%

Length: 25 1/4 inches - 75%

Head: 41.6 cm - 59%

So, she's definitely a growing little girl. Her favorite hobby continues to be eating, so these numbers come as no surprise.

She's also at a "fun" stage...she's rolled over from tummy to back but she's not more mobile than that right now, however she is solid..this kiddo is not a noodley baby. She's been in her exersaucer for over a month now, as she prefers to "stand". She has tons of smiles and giggles to share and is such a "people person" already. The ONLY thing that would make it all perfect right now is for her to sleep through the night. That still has not happened. She is 19 weeks old, and Brett was sleeping through the night at 12 weeks....I'm desperate for a single night of sleep, but we are getting by. She normally wakes once between 1 - 3 to eat and then one more time at 5 or 6, so if she could just drop t he middle of the night feeding, we'd be okay. And, no, she hates bottles...it's all mommy all the time...so Steve feeding her in the middle of the night isn't an option. Oh well, I keep telling myself she WILL sleep through the night....EVENTUALLY.

And, here's the latest teddy bear chair pic!

Christmas in Chicago Part II

The rest of the weekend was spent at Steve's parent's house. We took it easy by ringing in the New Year there and just resting up. The kiddos had fun as usual, and got lots of loot from Grandma and Grandpa .

We stayed through Steve's birthday, and he and I got to see Black Swan together at the Chicagoland version of Hollywood Bar and Filmworks. We used to LOVE the Indy location but they closed it :(. However, the owners opened one literally within a 10 minute drive of Steve's parents house, so we try to catch movies there when we can.

Following are more pics of kiddos opening presents. The last pic I couldn't resist...another pic from my Wordless Wednesday bunch. Kaia looks like a twin to her new Cabbage Patch Kid!

Christmas In Chicago

On New Year's Eve, Steve and I went up to Chicago for a few days with his family for Christmas. The very first event was that day...the ginormous extended family Christmas. Every year it grows and grows and grows with all of the new family members. This year, his cousins Kim and Rachel also had babies...also girls! Yes, it was a very good year for baby girls. While I didn't get a picture of brand new baby Allison (she was 2 weeks old!), I got some of Khloe and Kaia...Kim's baby Khloe was born 10 days before Kaia and this was the first time we've gotten them together.

The first two are of Kaia and Khloe...I'm looking forward to getting these two together from now on to see how they are growing...

Wordless Wednesday